Sleep when the baby sleeps they say. “They” are right and “they” are also VERY unrealistic. “They” also don’t have three kids under four.  

My day starts between 5 and 5:30 a.m. seven days a week. The first one up is usually Steele the 2 month old, once I get him back to sleep, Gardner (3) is not far behind and so it begins. If it’s a work day I’m in full force to get out the door, if it’s the weekend I’m taking a deep breath as I decide if I really need that cup of coffee and ponder if it will really affect my milk or not. Caitiejane (nearly 2) joins the pack soon after as I throw pancakes like frisbees from the griddle to their plates. 

We usually take the morning to do something like go to the park, run around outside, or maybe take care of some errands, before lunch and nap time. I used to love nap time because that meant naps for me too!... Except Gardner gave up weekend naps ages ago. 

After nap, we have a quick snack, maybe some television, or go back outside. Then it’s dinner and bed. This day may not seem like a lot on paper, but it feels like a marathon.  

By the time the kids are all going to bed I’m ready to join them knowing that I’ll be up at least once or twice before the sun comes up again. And that is exactly what I do. Sleep.

I give my husband a proverbial high five as I head to bed and I let my head sink into the pillow and never look back. That’s right #oldladystatus #tiredmom #dontcare. 

I used to feel guilty that I never “saw” my husband or got to spend time with him. Even though our time together was sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Now I feel no guilt. I am a better mom for getting sleep and I’m a better wife. Sleep = patience, kindness, and happiness and lack of sleep = bitterness, anger, and way too much yelling. I’ll take my more rested self any day and I’m sure my husband won’t complain either. 

So to my husband, I love you and I’ll catch up on our television watching some day. I hope my “high fives” are enough right now, it won’t last forever, I promise.

To my kids, you’re welcome. I’m glad I get to be my best self from here on out since I decided sleep is a priority that I cannot compromise on.

To my friends, if you text me after 8:30 p.m. I’ll text you back at 2 a.m. or 5:30 a.m. or I might just forget altogether. I’m getting more rest than ever before, but it’s not always a perfect system, so I’m sorry about that.

To myself, why the heck did it take you so long to start believing in self care? Stubborn as usual!

It took me three kids to figure out I can’t be super mom living on no sleep, but I’m so glad I finally figured it out.