To my friend who is struggling to get pregnant,
I have no idea what you're going through, but I know it must be difficult. The fact that you want something to happen so much and that the results are out of your control must be so hard. I don't know how you feel at all because I've not gone through these particular challenges in life. But I do want you to know that I am here for you.
I am here to listen. I am here to comfort. I am here to just sit with you if that's what you need.
I am NOT here to judge. I am NOT here to tell you that it will all work out because I know that might not be true. I am NOT here to dismiss your feelings. I am NOT here to lead you to believe that you're broken because you are far from that. I am NOT here to give advice without you asking.
I want you to know that I think about you. I want you to know that your feelings are not a burden to me. I want you to know that you are not imposing on me if you just want to cry.
It must be hard to watch all your friends have babies around you when that is the one thing you crave more than anything in the world. I cannot imagine how isolating that can sometimes be, and I don't want to pretend like I know how that feels. I am in awe of the brave face you put on when you attended your tenth baby shower in three months. And I can understand if you declined a few of them along the way.
I try to be mindful to talk about things other than my kids. I want to be sensitive to the fact that you may not want to hear about my kids' runny nose. Or that one of them rolled over last week, and it was a super proud mom moment. I'm sure sometimes you wish I would have never brought them up. So I will make it a point to wait for your questions about them, and follow your lead. I'm sure there are times that you do want to hear about them, and if that is the case I am happy to share.
I do not have a magic bullet that will make everything all better for you. I do hope that just knowing that you do not have to be alone will help you in what might be a long journey. I realize that you may not want to talk about what is going on, and I respect that too. If I can support you, please know that I am ready and willing to do so.
Signed,
Your friend with kids that's wants so desperately to support you
P.S. If you want to spend time my kids I will always let you. But more importantly, if you want to spend time with me sans children I will always be there.