There’s an unspoken pressure that comes with being a working mom. I mostly know how to deal with that at this point (ignore the naysayers, build my own self-confidence that I’m doing the right thing, and sometimes even try and trick myself into believing that I am “mom enough” for my kids). Basically whatever it takes. But sometimes it feels like there’s not enough.
I’ve been told I don’t contribute enough financially to the village that watches my kids while I work. I’ve been told I don’t do enough to help the village I rely so heavily on. I’ve been called midday to an inconsolable baby and felt helpless on the other side knowing I’m almost an hour away and unable to provide any kind of support. And when I’m told these things and get these calls it’s no wonder moms leave the workforce in droves to raise their kids.
I constantly try to shake the mom guilt of going to work day in and day out, but sometimes it’s just unshakeable and overtakes me. Sometimes I’m too tired to care about the naysayers and sometimes it eats me at my core. Today was a core eating kind of day.
Coming home to enthusiastic kids provides some relief to my doubts. But on nights like tonight, that relief is short lived. With hungry children to feed, dinner to cook, and babies to soothe I wind up crumpled on the floor of the kitchen fighting back tears wondering, “am I mom enough?” And, “could I be doing more?” And, “is this all a mistake?” And, “where did I go wrong?”
In these moments it feels like one big guilt trip after the next. I don’t work enough to provide financially for everyone that deserves it. I don’t stay home enough to lighten the load. I can’t be enough for everyone that needs me.
Tonight I don’t feel “mom enough,” but I’m hoping my kids see it through a different lens. We’ve all been here right? Exhausted, doubting our every move, and wondering if it gets better.
When you see a mom do them a favor, tell them they are mom enough. Tell them they are doing so many things right even if it feels wrong to them. Point out that sometimes there seems like too many things to juggle, but that they can keep going that they are strong. Be a cheerleader for them, support them, be an ear for them, and most of all love them. Their days can be long, they’re up against a lot, so reassure them their best is enough. Sometimes they need it. I know I need it more often than I like to let on.
