We’re pregnant again, with baby number four. Yes, we know how this happened. Yes, we wanted this baby. No, this wasn’t a complete surprise… well, maybe to my husband when I told him I was pregnant, but that’s because I just like catching him speechless on purpose. If you haven’t seen it it’s worth watching below.
We’ve started telling people about this pregnancy and have gotten varied reactions. The best reaction was when I nearly got tackled with a hug by a friend of mine at church. What a great embrace we had!! In fact, pretty much everyone of my friends in my church community are thrilled to have us welcome another baby to our household. They are bursting with congratulations. Maybe it’s because of our faith that we have the opinion that babies are blessings! Being embraced by this community and seeing their excitement for us has been the greatest blessing to me. It’s been exactly what I’ve needed.
I’ve held on tightly to these excited reactions because not everyone is as thrilled for us as we had hoped. Some less than thrilled reactions have included:
*Exasperated, audible groan*
“Where are you going to put all these kids?”
“I thought you were going to wait.”
“I figured you’d stop having them when you ran out of bedrooms.”
“How are you going to manage all these kids?”
“Can you even afford to have another?”
In fact, when I told one family member, I prefaced my news with “hold your judgment.” They didn’t.
I have to say, it makes sharing news like this hard when you’re excited, but you know the person on the other side of the conversation is going to judge you. I don’t want anyone to fake happiness, but don’t be surprised if we don’t want to tell you for fear of being judged. I’m not saying don’t have an opinion, but just let us have our moment of happiness.
Being a parent means that you will be judged for just about everything that you do. We’re no strangers to that! Still, I also believe in being as supportive as I can to other people.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. (1 John 4:19-20, NIV)
At the end of the day, we have many more supporters than we have detractors, and I’m grateful for that.
We believe that God has a plan bigger than us. We believe that it takes a village… and boy do we have an amazing village! Between our family and friends there are so many people that love and care for our children. It is these relationships that affect our kids more than anything. We believe that God will provide, and we will do our best to walk in His plan. He has answered our prayers.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19, NIV)
So, will it be hard? Sure, it will be ultimate chaos in our house! We like it that way. If you’re averse to chaos that’s fine. We don’t need to visit and you don’t need to come over. We still love you, but we like our fun, crazy, and sometimes difficult life. It’s okay if you don’t understand.
Will there be difficult times? Absolutely! But doesn’t everyone struggle from time to time? Even if you don’t have kids, there are struggles. We’re planning to provide the best life we know how for our family. We’ll lift up one another when we’re down, and they’ll lift us up when we go through times of struggle. We’re supportive of one another. Lucky for us there will be six of us to help one another in times of struggle. Isn’t that awesome?
What about the detractors? All I can do is pray for them. I hope they’ll come around and see our kids the way we see them. As blessings, fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image.