I tweet and post on Facebook almost weekly about my sleep deprivation. Occasionally I celebrate my sleep wins too, but those are few and far between. I would say I'm a pretty typical working mom of three kids under the age of four. I've had my fair share of sleep missteps over the years. So today, for your entertainment, here is a list of the things I've done while sleep deprived. Side note: No one was harmed in the making of this list.
- Turned on the front burner instead of the back one and wondered why my plate was hot and not the pan I was trying to cook in.
- Didn't turn on the burner at all and wondered why my eggs weren't cooking.
- Forgot my pump parts at home and had to run to Target when I discovered (at work) that I didn't have what I needed to express milk for the day. Side note: I now have 5 sets of breast shields. So... I've done this at least 4 times to acquire these and now a permanent spare set sits in my desk drawer. And this is a great thing because I did this for the 6th time last week. Today I forgot the bottles and the shields. Off to Target I went! #ThanksTarget
- Completely forgot my pump at home... twice... in one week. Luckily, I didn't have to buy a replacement pump I swung back by the house after daycare drop off to get it. I chalk this one up to "first week back at work after having my third kid" jitters.
- Didn't turn on the hair straightener and expected it to work. Something about me and forgetting how to use appliances.
- Put a kid's toy in the refrigerator. Of course, that kid needed that item at bedtime. #ToddlerProblems Totally my fault.
- Forgot a kid's show and tell at home. (You have no idea how important show and tell is until you forget it).
- Forgot to bring a change of clothes for my kid at daycare. I'm grateful for the Hulk shirt my son came home in last week, super big thanks to the previous owner of that shirt. I'm pretty sure the shorts he wore home the week before last were a bit big, but hey when you forget to send clothes beggars can't be choosers! #ThanksDaycare
- Forgot diapers and wipes for daycare. I deserved the hand slap on that one.
- Left the house without makeup on. So, in the other drawer of my desk you will find a bag of makeup for such "emergencies." If you're looking for files and office supplies in my drawers at work you will be sadly disappointed.
- Forgot my coffee. Um... yeah... turned around for the coffee. I would rather be late to work or forget show and tell than forget my coffee. Amen?
- Googled, "How to get my 9 month old to sleep."
- Googled, "How to survive sleep regression."
- Googled, "Will I ever sleep again?"... more than once.
- Googled, "Does my child have sleep anxiety?" Late night Googling is dangerous y'all. There's no telling what kind of confirmation bias you will find.
- Convinced myself I had made an appointment that I never did.
- Forgot to pay a bill. At least it wasn't the electricity or the internet. God forbid we don't have television or Netflix.
- Brought mismatching tennis shoes to work for my lunchtime run. This was back before kid number 3. Running at lunch is no longer a thing. It has been replaced by short naps at lunch instead (see photo above).
- Forgot to charge my phone the night before having to travel for work. Then my car charger didn't work and I also forgot my USB cube for the wall. I did have the USB cord, so I attempted to use my laptop to charge my phone during the meeting I was attending, but learned that laptops are just not as good at charging phones as outlets and cars are. I managed to get about an hour outside of my next destination before my phone died. Just long enough to tell my boss I was running late for our next meeting. I was "flying blind" the rest of the way.
- Forgot to take birth control pills a few times. Thus, running the risk of possibly creating one more reason... I mean child... to make me sleep deprived. Lucky for me, I was way too tired to even think about sex, so it became a non-issue.
I know my fellow parents have done the same things right? Leave your stories in the comments!