Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash
We all know the rat race that we often call life: wake before the sun (and most importantly, wake the before the kids), shower make breakfast, get everyone dressed and fed, rush them out the door, inevitably forget something at home, drop them off, fly into work on two wheels (how late do I feel today? Just 5 minutes today? Success!!), turn the computer on and breathe.
By the time I get to my computer, I’m both relieved I made it to work (with limited yelling at the children about putting their shoes after asking just 10 times instead of 20) and grateful that it takes a few minutes for the computer to start because it’s just long enough to catch my breath and make the transition from mom to working woman. Then I spend the next 9+ hours glued to my email, planning the next educational event, putting out fires as they arise, and sitting through meetings with new clients, existing clients and staff. Clients don’t need me to find their shoes or tell them 20 times to put them on (and I appreciate that), but they can bring the same joys and frustrations as with any relationship. You bask in the moments when they’re appreciative, collaborative, and creative and dread when they’re demanding and difficult. Lucky for me I have so many great clients and partners. Still, I can’t threaten to take away screen time when they’re being unkind.
In between work emails and tasks, I check on any upcoming appointments, school concerts, and other social engagements for our family. Did I order a present for that birthday party? Did I pay the electric bill? Did I reschedule that conflicting appointment when my work meeting came up? Needless to say, when I punch out for the day I’m spent.
I use the drive home to make the transition back from working woman to mom. I always think I’m ready to put my mom hat back on until I walk in the door. Often I get smothered with hugs, great stories about school, art projects, and milestones. I also get that daycare needs more pull ups and wipes, picture day is this week, and don’t forget show and tell on Friday.
The goal is always to check my work life at the door. Some days I’m better at it than others. And yet, even though there are just two hours left in my day, I’m spent. I literally have no more mental energy, no more energy to argue about eating dinner, no more energy to force the kids into the bath, no more energy to endure the bickering. I’m tapped out.
In these moments it is my family I feel worst for. They often get the worst of me, as I count down the two hours before the household is quiet and I can go to sleep. My work colleagues make fun of me for being in bed by 8 p.m. and asleep by 8:30 p.m. but there is just no more of me to give.
Luckily, I have a great support system in my husband and brother-in-law that take over once the kids’ teeth are brushed and books are read. So while I do try to do it all, I know my limits, and I hope that my family can be understanding while we’re in this season of life with three under the age of five. While I try to give them my best, some days I just lean on my support to help give the kids the best.